Tuesday, 21 April 2015

Summer has come too early.

That's right, in true British style I'm going to complain about the good weather we're having.

Unfortunately, it appears that I'm one of those people where I only have to look at a burger and my jeans won't fit the next day. This does not bode well when for the last few months I have spent a good majority of my time eating and avoiding all exercise. In fact, I have even tried convincing myself that reaching for more snacks counted as some sort of abdominal workout. I naively thought I had a good few months left to wear  baggy jumpers. I was wrong.

Summer has come early and none of my clothes fit.  I am not exaggerating. Even with the standard wiggling and lunging, there was no getting my shorts over my thighs. I couldn't even get to the 'just because it zips, doesn't mean it fits' part. Normally, I would live a life of denial and claim that they must have shrunk in the wash. Although this excuse is slightly flawed when I haven't even washed the shorts. Even my sack-like dresses seemed a  bit tight.

In all fairness, ripping more than one pair of jeans should have been a sign that I was probably consuming too many biscuits. Not all seams are too weak to handle my lunging dance moves.

Sometimes you do just have to admit defeat. I turned to ASOS to upsize my wardrobe but flaked out and just bought some new summer sandals.

Not even the sandals fit. Apparently, I have chode feet.

This is probably a sign that I should stop eating cake for breakfast and should actually go for a run now and again. In reality, I'm probably just going to become a naturalist so clothes are no longer a problem. Plus, think about the financial savings and even tan you'd get.

Take that summer.