That's right, in true British style I'm going to complain about the good weather we're having.
Unfortunately, it appears that I'm one of those people where I only have to look at a burger and my jeans won't fit the next day. This does not bode well when for the last few months I have spent a good majority of my time eating and avoiding all exercise. In fact, I have even tried convincing myself that reaching for more snacks counted as some sort of abdominal workout. I naively thought I had a good few months left to wear baggy jumpers. I was wrong.
Summer has come early and none of my clothes fit. I am not exaggerating. Even with the standard wiggling and lunging, there was no getting my shorts over my thighs. I couldn't even get to the 'just because it zips, doesn't mean it fits' part. Normally, I would live a life of denial and claim that they must have shrunk in the wash. Although this excuse is slightly flawed when I haven't even washed the shorts. Even my sack-like dresses seemed a bit tight.
In all fairness, ripping more than one pair of jeans should have been a sign that I was probably consuming too many biscuits. Not all seams are too weak to handle my lunging dance moves.
Sometimes you do just have to admit defeat. I turned to ASOS to upsize my wardrobe but flaked out and just bought some new summer sandals.
Not even the sandals fit. Apparently, I have chode feet.
This is probably a sign that I should stop eating cake for breakfast and should actually go for a run now and again. In reality, I'm probably just going to become a naturalist so clothes are no longer a problem. Plus, think about the financial savings and even tan you'd get.
Take that summer.