Friday, 10 April 2015

How many pork pies are too many?

I'm not sure of the definite answer but I have a strong feeling that six pork pies in one sitting is too many. Especially when you wake up with the dip you used to bath the pork pies still in your hair.

I'll set the scene...it's Easter weekend and I have gone back home to visit my family. It's Sunday night and my mother is probably hoping to watch a film together. Naturally, my sister and I think going for drinks and shaking our 'thang' is a better alternative.  Especially given our mother would have only fallen into a wine induced nap for the duration of the film.

The night began with some casual drinks with my siblings. Although after my older brother had challenged us to consuming some peculiar tequila based coffee liquid, I doubt you would've called it a 'casual' drink. In hindsight, this was probably the catalyst for a series of poor choices.

After a series of brotherly jibes, my sister and I moved onto to meet up with her friends. Somehow this ended up in us singing our hearts out to Stevie Nicks on the karaoke. Luckily, we crashed the karaoke system. After being forced to watch a video of me flapping my arms like a deranged bird and whaling along to Edge of Seventeen, I can eliminate being a Steve Nicks tribute act as a career choice.

Following the great karoke crash of 2015, we moved on. I bumped into my old school friends. Friends I barely recognised, given I haven't seen them since I was 11 years old, so I spent a good chunk of the night playing a real life game of 'guess who'. I did genuinely feel like a local celeb ( if a local celeb lacked instagram followers and could barely afford their own taxi home).

Eventually, we moved onto a club where we could dance to nostalgic songs that made us feel like we were 16 years old going wild on lambrini again. It was everything you could ever want when you're refusing to face adult life, which is probably why I spent a lot of time shouting 'this is the best night' directly at my sister's face.

Unfortunately, before you know it you're waking up fully clothed with dip drenched hair and a text from your sister's friend saying that you tried to kiss their 18 year old brother. Drink responsibly, unless you want to be that girl shouting 'are you a wizard Harry?' at strangers just because they have round glasses. It's probably not OK to be that girl.



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